Even though this blog is just 1 line buried on my Xia-BDSM.com Links page, many of the people who come to see me tell that they read and appreciate it. I conceived of this as a way for me to relate my thoughts, ideas and background in a highly personal manner without being specifically limited to talk of BDSM and the fetish scene. I've been told that I really put myself out there, that I almost make myself vulnerable by what I write. Yet I think it's important to push past the tired stereotype of an inhumanly invincible domme who never frets or doubts, who is always right and ready. There is true strength in baring one's soul. As all good players and artists know, it takes guts to open up and let others inside one's mind.

Innately, I possessed the core of a natural domina. And through the gaining of knowledge by direct experience, I have built upon that core to manifest myself as a self-assured woman of many talents. But as they say: the more you know, the more you realize that you know so little, for learning is an endless journey. So I believe humility has its place, no matter how far one has progressed in one's personal development.

True confidence and intelligence do not need to be advertised. And certainly, possession of these qualities should allow for admissions of imperfection or other feelings which may fall outside the portrait of an ominipotent ice queen.

I think I really began to connect with my submissives when I shed that veneer of what I thought a domme should be like, and let them see the real me. In all my dualities and complexities. That's when I realized that the real me is as good as it gets. And getting better all the time. . .

I found this passage by the poet Rashani to be particularly powerful in its elucidation of the dualities of life:

There is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken. There is a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable. There is a sorrow beyond all grief, which leads to joy. And a fragility out of whose depths emerges strength. There is a hollow space too vast for words through which we pass with each loss, out of whose darkness we are sanctioned into being.