Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Women in Movies

"Watching a fossil like Shayla LaVeaux makes me grateful that former Vivid girl Savannah blew her head off while still young and beautiful. No porn girl should work past 30."

That's a quote from Adam Film World Guide's 2007 Adult Film & Video Directory. Can you believe in this day and age some two-bit reviewer can get away with such shite? It really is pathetic more than anything else. Like the dying gasps of a fish out of water. No wonder I usually just look at the pictures in those magazines, with crap text like that!

While definitely nothing quite incendiary as what's quoted above, I have read reviews of mainstream movies that came off as nothing more than petty femme-bashing rather than critical analysis. One of Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider saying that she strutted around like she thought she was so great (so what?). Or one review of Original Sin, another Jolie feature, which I thought was one of the best portrayals of a woman caught in the web of her own overpowering sexuality, which described it as silly romance novel trite -this time by a woman reviewer. Bias against the femme perspective - eg romance=derogatory - is not limited to men.

But I am gratified to see how many more powerful roles there are for women in film and TV these days. There was such a dearth when I was growing up. It was all about the fetishization of women as victims back then, screaming and tripping in their stilettos. Or two-dimensional, decorative accessories for the men. Besides Meryl Streep, it was pretty much a mini Dark Ages for femmes in cinema during the 80s and early 90s.

Look at films from the 30s, 40s and 50s. Women were often stronger, more opinionated and sexually respected, even if more restrained within gender roles. I remember reading how Julia Roberts during her heyday was the first woman the studios could rely on to carry a movie, whereas actresses like Betty Davis and Joan Crawford were consistent box office superstars in their day.

Maybe I sound a bit out of touch, but I can't stand all the rutting that goes on in Hollywood films today. It just comes off as embarrassing for the actors. Why not just leave it to porn?

Maybe not everyone compartmentalizes like me. But when I want to be turned on in prelude to actual play, I watch XXX-rated scenes. When I want to think, follow plot and conversation, and be stimulated in a more cerebral or emotional way, I watch non-porn fare.

I do love the sizzling sexual tension and double entendres of older films, before everything could be so spelled -- and acted -- out. It's that same sexual tension I can play with in scene. Sometimes repression can be sexy. The unspoken, or the hinted at. Toying with that excitement til you feel like you could burst at the seams. Old-fashioned cinema is like tease and denial.

I've even heard that sex scenes have affected the average height of actresses, because one has to consider how compatible they will look lying horizontally beneath their acting partners.

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I have been enjoying the new Terminator series The Sarah Connor Chronicles. When they mentioned the Singularity, the Baghavad Gita and the Manhattan Project -- all in the third episode -- I knew I was seeing something unique on broadcast television: a show which didn't dumb down the big questions.

I may not agree with its seemingly luddite take on the prospect of an emerging machine intelligence, but the questions it raises so dramatically make for extremely compelling viewing. For all the hopes I had for the new Bionic Woman, it looks like the Terminator series is the best current offering within the grrrl power genre.

Though I will never forget how inspiring Linda Hamilton was in T2 with her badass muscles and smoky voice - one of my fellow domme friends says watching her was her first inspiration to work out - Lena Headey creates her own formidable presence as the killer mama of the "savior of mankind."

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Interview on Sadistic Mistress

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Saturday, January 12, 2008

Grab the Bull By the Horns
Free Will & Slave Games

The new year brings not just resolutions for Mistress. I see it as a time to reflect on the meaning and symbolism behind the kinky play that is so much a part of my life. It's gratifying to feel a sense of progression in my philosophy, with the greater clarity achieved through active self examination.

Readers who have been with me for some time may recall that the topic of my own spiritual explorations has creeped into more than a few of my posts. Learning to open my heart to people and unwind my own ego attachments were powerful experiences, and I believe these steps were important to my development.

I now find myself re-balancing that receptive energy with a dive into a more assertive mode. I've come to believe more than ever in free will: the power that each individual holds, and how every one of us must make a choice whether to be passive or take life by the horns.

So how does my reinvigorated indeterminism fit with my role as dominatrix, with its games of enslavement? How can I espouse personal responsibility seemingly in the face of its abdication? The answer lies in that it is a game we are playing, no more and no less.

By definition, a game is the playful, peaceful way of learning about a thing. It gives one the ability to consummate a desire without it being anything as serious as a life or death matter.

It also is a means of release. For there is no doubt in my mind that the urge to submit and suffer, to be made to kneel, crawl and beg, to feel the hot burn of humiliation or the the cold hold of possession - these are very real. For many of us, there must be a catharsis.

Our modern society has developed outlets so that we may continue to challenge ourselves, test what we're made of, and feel closer to that primal self which resides within each of us. Kinky play is one such outlet. It does not require that you jump out of a plane or ingest some drug, though it can be equally as intense in its effects.

For me, the play is fun exactly because it is make-believe. I do not really want to own a slave. Not in the sense that I want to rule over another who has no rights of his own and no power to object. The consent of my "victim" permits me to indulge and enjoy my sadism and my desire for control.

Of course, there are those who dream of a 24/7 total power exchange. Just as there are those who flock to the various dogmas of the world, some think it's better to be told what to do. They abandon free will for the elixir of assurance in the face of the great mystery; the unanswerable Why of it all.

In my experience, play works best when it's an embracing of the truth rather than an escape from reality. When we have the courage and liberation to run into the heart of darkness, feel the fear and the dirtiness as well as the ecstasy and the exaltation, wrestling happily with the demons which are our shadow.

Yes, invoking our deepest-held and most taboo fantasies is one way of grabbing onto the bull horns of life. Then we gain not only pleasure but something else: an invisible badge of our twisted journey, marking what we have seen and earned.

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Speaking of exercising free will, my dear friend Mistress Victoria has recently left The Gates to session independently. She joined me last week and we had wickedly sadistic fun with a lovely submissive. We have great scene chemistry, especially for heavier play involving humiliation, bondage, CBT, NT and corporal. Feel free to get in touch with me if interested in a double whupping!

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I recently updated the password to my special gallery. Those in my stable may contact me for the new one. Have a wonderful weekend...

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Advice to a novice seeker

Below is something I just wrote up in reply to a sincere novice applicant who recently sent in his completed submission questionnaire. I thought it succinctly eludicated some important points for novices interested in serving me, so I thought I'd put it out there for all the rest.

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. . . I understand that you are a total novice, in terms of actual real-life D/s play. I applaud you for taking the courageous first step towards fulfilling your innermost desires!

Now a few important points for you to consider. Firstly, with whomever you begin training with, remember to leave your expectations at the door. No doubt, you have been fantasizing about this for a long time. An entire universe may have been constructed in your head. In my past experiences with total novices, it sometimes seems that these prefabricated notions can actually become obstacles to surrending oneself in the here and now. So something to keep in mind as you prepare to meet the Mistress.

You mentioned attending a few munches, but I take it you have not played with anyone you met there? So you have decided to begin your training with a professional dominatrix rather than attempt a "lifestyle" relationship. Since you have no experience in either, I would expect you may have some confusion as to the differences. There are many, and they can be subtle. Some within the lifestyle community, a fair number of whom seem reflexively dismissive of pro dommes, would say that the difference is that those who do this for a living are "pretenders."

Of course, I see it in a more complex light. For one, I enjoy the well-defined boundaries of a session-based dynamic. And while I do consider myself a genuine dominant, my bandwidth is such that my training of new submissives is limited to session time. Remote sessions or other forms of training may also be possible, within my time constraints and with appropriate tribute. I note this in regards to your desire to have assignments and duties between meetings.

If this all sounds suitable to your submissive aspirations, feel free to follow up with me. . .