[Though I am admittedly biased, I do think that fulfilling the fantasy of being dominated by a sexy, smart and twisted woman is one worth taking up. Beyond my own self interest, I see such an exchange as vital to understanding the true nature of sexuality, gender and power in all their malleability. It is similar to how knowing another language broadens one's horizons.]
Above and beyond female domination, there may be other acts which tug at one's psyche. Often it is the unspeakable, the sordid, the shameless. Public exposure, cuckoldry, coerced bisexuality or forced feminization are a few that really seem to hit a nerve. Perhaps this particular activity gets played out in your head whenever you touch yourself. Maybe it is so powerful that you can always rely on it to push you over the edge to orgasm. It's the perfect fantasy. Do you dare make it a reality? Could it ever live up to what you've imagined so well for so long? When it's all said and done, will you still have your fantasy intact?
It reminds me of the dilemma of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden with the fruit of knowledge. To live in peace with what you have -- or some would say blissful ignorance -- or to seek more? And once you know, will you be cast out of the paradise of your own mind's creation? Yet can it ever truly be paradise if it is bottled up rather than shared?
For some, the answer is easy. To live is to act upon one's desires, to pursue what makes one feel good. I know a fellow adventurer of the erotic who sees the fulfillment of his fantasies in terms of the Buddhist ideals of detachment from passion. Each fulfillment extinguishes a fire and brings him closer to the truth.
I too have built up desire, only to see it brought crashing down in flames. Yet from the ashes arose a phoenix, powering my flight to new heights. I wouldn't be where I am today if I had not said "yes" to making my fantasies real. With each step in my evolution, I have mourned the passing of these last vestiges of innocence, while at the same time reveling in my newfound knowledge and powers.