Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I had a slave serve me recently who I hadn't seen since last fall. It was a great session and afterwards he complimented me on my evolving skills as a domme, saying that I seemed more comfortable, confident and in control now. I appreciated the thoughtful input. It can be difficult because as a dominatrix, it sometimes feels like I am supposed to have all the answers from the get-go and never need or desire any feedback. Of course, a perfect domina is not born overnight. In the year that I have been a prodomme, I have learned so much. And though I sometimes hate the concept of them, I must admit that at least part of my development has come from critiques -- e.g. reviews of me as "distant" and "aloof" motivated me to shed the stereotypical ice queen posture for a more warm and easy-going manner. The intensity has only increased as I've focused on more eye contact and greater physicality in my domination. As I've come into my own power, I have become truly present and alive in my scenes.


The question arises as to why I choose to take sessions in a commercial house rather than be an independent domme. Sisterhood and security are both big factors. I enjoy the sense of perspective I get at The Gates. We all watch each other experience similar ups and downs, all the while supporting one another and helping to keep each other down to earth. Undoubtedly, the ego can get tied up in this line of work -- where one's role is to be served and worshipped, to use one's powers to toy with another. Yet when I step out of session and into our private area where my fellow dommes are lounging in their street clothes, I am reminded how it is all just a game. Well, not just any game -- one that can be amazing, fun, incredibly erotic and even therapeutic.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

I had recorded local TV station KRON 4's special called "Sex in the City" which aired last week. Finally watched it last night. I thought they did an excellent job of portraying the vast array of sexual diversity and openness in San Francisco -- one of the main reasons I love this fine city. It must be a testament to my own explorations and networking that I recognized at least a dozen people on the show. They did a lot of camera pans at places like the Exotic Erotic, Power Exchange, Divas, Asia SF, Folsom Street Fair, and the Fetish Ball. It was fun picking out familiar faces in each scene. They also covered Good Vibrations, Madame S & Mister S, and Felicity's Fetiche. It was nicely balanced between straight and gay, kink and vanilla too. Only in San Francisco could such a provocative subject be covered on a mainstream TV station in a non-judgemental, sex-positive way.

Friday, May 16, 2003

I recently concluded my first remote domination scene and am quite pleased with the results. Beforehand, I had no idea if my ability to direct and guide the fantasy would translate over the phone. I approached it as an experiment. My slave had never submitted in this fashion either, so it was an exciting new thing for us both. I enjoyed using my voice through varying intonations, volume, pitch, speed and breathiness. It was a blast to be able to conjure up a wild scene, people it with as many slaves and mistresses -- as well as toys and tortures -- as my heart desired, creating a setting beyond the confines of my current reality. In a sense, phone domination is more of a pure head trip. One is only limited by imagination (and of course, actual personal limits). I'm looking forward to exploring this training tool further.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

I have found another kickass woman to worship -- Kelly Hu, who does a wicked job as Lady Deathstrike in X-Men 2. Click here for an interview with her. She did a lot of her own stunts for the movie and there are some fierce fight scenes. Here is a cool pic of her from the movie.

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

The Cancer of Righteousness -- that's what I think is the biggest problem in the world. That whole "my way or the highway" attitude. Whether it's left or right, religious or secular, scientists or new agers, yuppies or slackers, sex freaks or prudes. When people are inflexible, unbending and adamant that they are right and willing to risk everything to prove it. I'm not comfortable with the idea of just one true path: monotheism, monogamy, etc.


I don't really watch TV too much, but I remember a few years back watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They had this demon character who was also the principal of the school. He was supposed to be supremely evil and they portrayed him as a real Mr. Rogers/ Ned Flanders goody-two-shoes type. Like he'd order the killing of some of the good guys, then offer his minions some cookies and milk. It was funny but also eerie to see evil portrayed in this way.
I'm starting to think that those who represent themselves as the most holier-than-thou may be, for all intents and purposes, the most evil. In the sense that they hold humanity up to impossible standards -- standards they themselves could never live up to. As such, they are automatically hypocrites. And beyond that, they are also self-consciously aware that their castigation and punishment of others is under-handed and wrong. They give themselves a break but let the rest of us suffer for our "sins."
Of course, one may ask what is good and what is evil? Cultural relativism vs. moral absolutism. I'll save that one for another post...

Thursday, May 1, 2003

I just updated my xia-bdsm.com with a new FAQ page. I love working on my site -- it's my baby. Check it out!


So I read about a study that gives new evidence to the claim that fish feel pain. Why would we think that they don't feel pain? Just because they can't cry out "Ouch!"? They used to think babies couldn't feel pain either and would even operate on them without anesthesia. That's confusing the ability to communicate with the ability to feel. Ah, life is full of suffering.