Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I had a slave serve me recently who I hadn't seen since last fall. It was a great session and afterwards he complimented me on my evolving skills as a domme, saying that I seemed more comfortable, confident and in control now. I appreciated the thoughtful input. It can be difficult because as a dominatrix, it sometimes feels like I am supposed to have all the answers from the get-go and never need or desire any feedback. Of course, a perfect domina is not born overnight. In the year that I have been a prodomme, I have learned so much. And though I sometimes hate the concept of them, I must admit that at least part of my development has come from critiques -- e.g. reviews of me as "distant" and "aloof" motivated me to shed the stereotypical ice queen posture for a more warm and easy-going manner. The intensity has only increased as I've focused on more eye contact and greater physicality in my domination. As I've come into my own power, I have become truly present and alive in my scenes.

The question arises as to why I choose to take sessions in a commercial house rather than be an independent domme. Sisterhood and security are both big factors. I enjoy the sense of perspective I get at The Gates. We all watch each other experience similar ups and downs, all the while supporting one another and helping to keep each other down to earth. Undoubtedly, the ego can get tied up in this line of work -- where one's role is to be served and worshipped, to use one's powers to toy with another. Yet when I step out of session and into our private area where my fellow dommes are lounging in their street clothes, I am reminded how it is all just a game. Well, not just any game -- one that can be amazing, fun, incredibly erotic and even therapeutic.