Saturday, February 17, 2007

Mistress Missives

Mistress Missives: Lessons on the Fine Art of Serving a Dominant Woman. A new weblog I have created to go alongside my session website. Posts will deal with issues of submissive training and etiquette, as well as more thorough explanations of my approach. It's a bit like Miss Manners for the kinky!

This new addition to my online realm allows me to share my writing with newcomers, while at the same time reserving my more casual and off-topic thoughts for here. Ah yes, building my little empire. . .

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My Site Relaunch

Big news! My site is back up. It's been a nice break to be a bit more low profile, but now it's time to crank it up again. Enjoy. . .

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Power Exchange Better Than Power Drain

I enjoy being served and like to keep active through out the week, squeezing sessions whenever I can into my busy schedule. At times, a submissive will express sympathy for me, telling me that it must be draining to play so much. I've heard this kind of comment more than a few times, yet it still surprises me because it's so different from how I feel.

I look at every scene I step into as an exciting new experience: perhaps a great escape, an opportunity to learn more about what it means to be human, to enforce discipline and modify behaviour, coax and control hesitant desires, or connect on extraordinary levels of sensation and awareness. My submissives are like different instruments, each one of them carrying their own unique sound which I meld into a song of twisted eroticism. And as as greater trust, understanding and good feelings are established over time, each scene represents its place in a natural, intuitive progression.

What I love about being a professional dominatrix is it doesn't feel like work. I mean, if running scenes bled me dry then how could I possibly have done this gig for the past 4 years -- and still look good and feel happy? ;-) Seriously, I'm not interested in being a victim of my circumstances. I do what I enjoy. Certainly, I enjoy challenges. But only those which help me to evolve productively. If a pleasurable activity took away from me more than it gave me, the first thing I would do is try to figure out what was wrong with the process that caused me to feel drained and then make changes accordingly. If no amount of changes worked, you can bet I'd be out of there.

Any action can be draining if it doesn't suit the person doing it. Or if there is a sense of helplessness or loss of control to the situation. That's the great thing about being a dominatrix. There's no being coy here -- I am unapologetic about my need for complete and utter control. When I've witnessed other dommes complain about how a scene went, it often comes down to a need to enforce more rules and maintain sound boundaries [Of course, first and foremost one must know oneself and be true to oneself!]. When those are in place, an authentic energy exchange can take place.

So that's how I see what I do. As an exchange, not a drain. Believe me, I'm no martyr! Though I think that is a fantasy of some, particularly those interested in Asian Mistresses. It's that Madama Butterfly fetish: a fallen yet noble geisha who remains passive to the tragedy of her sordid life. Now really, is that what you think of me? The silliest stories can make a cock hard.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Snake Sheds Skin

My snake finally shed her skin. What a relief! Her beautiful orange, cream and black scales are all shiny and new. And I can see she is longer now, as she motors around her terrarium.

It had been nearly 2 weeks of her in a lethargy. I had just come back from out of town and told myself I needed to feed her. But then she stopped slithering around like she usually does, laying still in a listless coil. Her skin turned a dull gray and her eyes clouded over. She was beginning the process of molting. I knew I would have to wait until it was over before I could feed her.

The first time she went into this more subdued state, I completely freaked out and thought she was dying or very sick. With each successive molt, I've learned to trust a little bit more that it will all work out. Indeed, this snake has taught me to have more patience.

The first time I fed her a larger-sized mouse was pure agony. I sat there watching the whole time, minutes ticking by as she struggled to get the thing down. It seemed unbelievable to me that she could actually swallow a creature that looked so much bigger than her head. I felt terrified that somehow she'd suffocate on her meal. I almost had to sit on my hands to not interfere. I had thoughts of either breaking off the dead mouse's limbs to make it easier for her to swallow or pulling the whole thing out of her jaws to replace it with a smaller one -- both of which would have shocked her system more than anything. Sometimes trying to help only makes matters worse.

Yet I knew she would do it. That was the most amazing part of the lesson for me, realizing that though it seemed an insurmountable struggle, it was not only possible but really quite ordinary in the grand scheme of things. It was probably a blessing that she doesn't possess the chattering mind of a human, so that she could be present with the challenge rather than step back and "realize" it was more than she could handle. Little by little she enveloped the mammalian beast until it disappeared down her gullet. What a great lesson.

Even holding my snake has been a learning experience. I had to learn how to hold her in a manner which just let her be. The first time I held her I gripped too tightly, so that eventually she started to spasm in this weird little "get away from me" dance. I realized I wasn't giving her room to relax and explore, by holding onto her so tightly I gave her no choice but to react against me. Now I hold her as if I am a branch swaying in the wind, and she seems to have a great time cruising around all over me.