Monday, March 29, 2004

I recently picked up two books with the following provocative titles: Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire and Gynomite: Fearless, Feminist Porn. On the back cover of the first: "Is there a group accused more than feminists of categorically hating sex? In this anthology, that myth is put to bed in nineteen different ways." -- Jennifer Baumgardner, coauthor of Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism and the Future. Indeed, the other F-word still seems to make many men and women cringe. For instance, I've been working on retooling my Eros ad to target the most suitable applicants to add to my premium stable of slaves. As I've been refining the new text, I've been bouncing potential themes off friends for input. One of the words I wanted to use to describe myself is feminist, yet it seems that most think this would be a real turn-off. Though I'm not one to back down easily, I also don't want to simply attract subs who are into man-hating dominatrixes. Because that's really not what I'm all about. I love people -- men, women and in between. But I do like to have fun turning stereotypes of gender and power on their head in an erotically charged and highly controlled (by me! ;-) environment.


Tera Patrick was recently in town and I had thought about seeing her show. Now she's never been one to put out much heat in her performances, so as a consumer of porn she's never been one of my favorites (Belladonna is my current fav. Tori Wells was the best ever). Yet as someone else involved in the erotic professionally, I cannot fault her for not being able to look comfortable or excited having sex on screen -- as it seems to take a certain personality type and a lot of inner strength to be able to truly enjoy it. But I'd always thought she was the most beautiful of the X-rated talent out there. Of course, I'm probably biased because she is eurasian like me. How could you not be taken by a 5'9" exotic, voluptuous amazon of a woman? So it came as a real shock to me to open up the Spectator and see pictures of her sporting gigantic breast implants. This woman had DD natural breasts and a perfectly proportioned body. Now she looks top-heavy and plastic. And it just makes me sigh and ponder what lesson can be learned from such self-defacement. In the end, it seems another sign of the dangers of self-dissolution in the glare of the public eye. Perhaps these media figures who seem addicted to body modification are attempting to regain control of their image, the same images that have been commodified and set free into the public domain.

Friday, March 26, 2004

One of the lovely ladies at The Gates loaned me "Tough Guys: Stirring Stories of Rock Hard Sex." The book is a collection of rough trade stories -- a genre of gay male erotica revolving around the fantasy of a cruel, strong and violent straight male top who sexually uses and abuses the "faggot" bottom. Not exactly the most politically correct theme, but all the more reason it's hot! Beyond the obvious thrill of the erotic, what I liked about these stories was the perspective of the outsider. The sexual outlaw who endures name-calling and worse, yet still maintains his dignity. In one tale, a couple is harassed by baseball bat-wielding homophobes. After this scary run-in, the top laughs it off rather than giving in to negativity. No matter what, he never lets himself get thrown off his game.


I love how things converge. I was perusing a dear friend's old fetish magazines and came across Skin Two issue 14. In it I found an article on Trash -- erotic performance artist and male impersonator extraordinaire -- looking twistedly sexy with a big rubber black cock hanging between her legs and elaborately drawn mustache, goatee and sideburns. The piece was published in 1993 and that same year I met Trash after one of her shows. I had tagged along with a girlfriend and we had dinner with Trash. I admit being a bit of a clueless college kid at the time and couldn't think of anything to say to this amazing drag king. But I did write about her for my school newspaper. Though overt kinkiness was still at the periphery of my life, I was on to something even then. Another college memory: me walking up and down rows of student artwork and freezing in front of one particular canvass. Before me stood the image of a beautiful hermaphrodite. "Wow. Different. Sexy." The seeds were being planted.


I cross-dressed myself for a scene with one of my loyal slaves the other day. It was my first time to do so professionally and what a blast! I dressed in a tight, sheer white "wifebeater" tank top, y-front undies (in the style of the horribly nick-named "tighty whities" but these were two-tone mesh from victoria's secret) packing a "soft cock" dildo and leather pants. My hair was slicked and tied back. We had an elaborate gender and power-bending roleplay where I was initially pretending to be a gay prettyboy bottom seeking a professional master. When the pro dom shows a complete inability to top, I turn the tables on him and turn him into my slut. In the end, my true identity as a femme domme is revealed when I take off my masculine attire to shower the slave with my piss.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

A quick note to all of you out there -- you know who you are -- who have been so generous and thoughtful with your gestures of gratitude and appreciation. They came at just the right time and mean a lot to me.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

I have am the proud owner of a new electroplay unit -- ErosTek 302R (good job slave m!). It has dual channels so the electrodes can be placed on two different locations. What really made me choose this particular model is that it operates via remote control. The source box is small enough to be hidden on the submissive's body. Then all I have to do is press the buttons on the keychain remote and voila! I also indulged in several attachments for diversity of play including elastic bands for wrapping around the cock and balls, as well as a glove and sticky pads. If you are interested in exploring this type of play, do let me know in advance so I can bring the ER 302R to The Gates for our session. Important note: never use TENS unit or other electrical devices (other than the violet wand) above the waist. I'd had people want to put the electrodes on their nipples and in general, this is not a good idea. Just follow the rules, and the sensations can be amazing. . .

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I see myself as a natural at what I do because of how I came to be a domina. It really was a convergence of many different aspects of my life, all of them leading to this direction. These forces included my passion for the erotic, my fascination with strong sensation, my enjoyment of unique fashions and my identification as a feminist.

In terms of the erotic, I have been a consumer of pornography since I was a teenager. I used to read those cheap smut novels. I even thought I might end up writing the stuff for a living. And dirty magazines were pretty easy to find. So from an early age I was seeing the sexual from the point of view of the male gaze -- traditionally, the one who dominates and penetrates.

Strong sensations have also been an integral part of my life. As a small child, I always had to have my swing. Then later on it was roller coasters. I guess you could say I've always been a thrill-seeker. Now I have SM play. I recently got pulled into a public scene for the first time. From the moment I laid hands on the sub, I felt this incredible rush starting from the top of my head. It's truly an amazing feeling.

How I really got started with this scene is through the fashion. As a pansexual polyamorist, I had been attending events with an alternative theme for some time. It was through these gatherings that I met a handful of gorgeous women who were dressed in the most outrageously fabulous outfits. They often wore wigs and very high platforms, with strangely restrictive fabrics that altered their walk and gave them an otherwordly quality. It turned out that they were fetish models wearing latex rubber couture and the like. I was inspired and began accumulating my own fetish wardrobe. And this was how I first met and mingled with professional dominas.

By the time I was in junior high, I had already identified myself as a feminist. So issues of power and gender have always been important to me. Though I now find many of the stances of organizations like NOW (National Organization for Women) to be faintly archaic, I continue to use the term feminist because it lets others know that I do not follow conventionally accepted mores in the male-female social dynamic. I also see a large part of what I do as revealing to men what has traditionally been women's role by guiding them in the direct experience of being submissive, receptive and masochistic. I admit that feeling misunderstood because of false perceptions of me based on my gender fueled the flames of anger in me. Coming into my own as an SM dominant allowed me to transform that rage into calculated cruelty. Now, I do not strike out in anger. Rather, there is gratitude in my heart for the suffering my slaves offer me. I honor them for their courage -- the kind of courage women have had for a long time.

So where I am now makes perfect sense. It's a natural evolution of the many paths I have explored. And it is what gives me a commanding grace and intuition when I am at my best.

Monday, March 8, 2004

I know that some of you out there have been having a hard time getting a follow-up appointment with me, as I have been quite busy lately. In an effort to make myself more available to those who have seen me before, I have lowered my visibility to potential new clients by taking down some of my advertising. Of course, new worthy slaves are always welcome. But the focus for now will be on those in on-going slave training regimens.

Thursday, March 4, 2004

One of my favorite artists is Michael Manning. He recently launched his own site at, named after his first graphic novel. He is local to the Bay Area, his work closely associated with the Fetish Diva Midori (his illustraton of her is well known from her business cards and website) and Madam S (on their t-shirts, flyers as well as exhibited on their walls).

"Artist and writer Michael Manning's style is intelligent and libidinal at the same time, a curious mix of fine art, Japanese manga, science fiction, and high fantasy. . . Manning's signature mixture of omnisexual groupings of women, men, mixed genders, and machines. Throughout his work, Manning's imagery conveys a very personal mythology, a direct route to his deepest fantasies about our relationships with machines, bodies, and power." (HotWired '95)

His imagery is sumptuous, at times almost delirious in its sensual detail. It teases one with provocative dualities: at once organic/mechanistic, human/animal, male/female, light/dark, pain/pleasure... The organic element can be seen in the use of webs, tendrils and pervasive, fluid-like bondage, as well as the actual setting of water and garden. For me, I am particularly drawn to the Androgyne character -- a hermaphroditic dream come true who rules over this ethereal and erotic landscape.

His latest work is the In a Metal Web series (books I and II). I am the proud owner of both novels, signed and given to me by the artist. Look out for local domina Reina Aurora, who is featured in these stories. These beautifully drawn tales will expand your imagination with tantalizingly twisted images. Step into the garden and enjoy your visit!