Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Folsom Street Fair was this past Sunday -- what a party! I was still recovering from getting my wisdom teeth out last week, so I was pretty low-key and didn't do the dress-up thing. But the rest of The Gates ladies more than made up for my slackerly ways, looking fabulous in all their fetish finery. Head Mistress Sage, Alexis, Kitten, Clarissa and Star drew many admirers in their delicious diva-wear: corsets, sequins, leopard skin, cowboy hats, a parasol, and plenty of cleavage. Va-va-voom. . . when my job involves hanging out with super sassy sexy mamas, how could I possibly complain?

Friday, September 26, 2003

When I was in junior high, I used be called "weird" a lot by the other kids in school -- usually at least once a day. No matter how hard I tried to be just like everyone else, whatever came out of my mouth was never quite right to have me fit in. I used SAT words in normal conversation. I made strange observations. I had a passion for learning and was highly ambitious about getting good grades, competing in speech and debate and preparing to apply to the best colleges. All this despite the fact that I had virtually no pressure from my parents to succeed academically. I guess I was kind of like Lisa on the The Simpsons. My whole family was different. Sometimes I imagined that we were The Munsters of The Addams Family. I remember one of my brothers exclaiming in frustration, "It's our family that makes us weird!" At home, we could draw on the walls of our rooms if we felt like it. We could wear whatever we wanted. We were never grounded. One summer we took off from school and drove across country in our VW van; my parents and their brood of little elvin half-breeds. My mother was an artist who encouraged us to be free of convention and rules. The problem was that we were so free of these things that we couldn't even figure out how to fake it and pretend to be "normal." And of course, being weird was the most uncool thing to be in school.

Now, everyone tries so hard to be weird it makes me laugh. It seems like everyone and their brother is tattooed, pierced, dyed and dreaded to prove their anti-establishment credits. But if everyone does it, isn't that just another uniform and not so different from a suit and tie? Some of my friends say I look so much more conventional than I am. I suppose that's been a little victory for me, to have finally conquered the art of appearing completely normal. And I've found that there's a certain power to keeping things on the inside. Like a secret weapon. Clark Kent having his Superman costume hidden underneath his work clothes. There's a titillation to being in the closet. When I used to work in offices, it was especially fun to think about the crazy, kinky fun I would have on my own time when I was at my desk dressed in a mousy cardigan and studious-looking glasses while others boasted loudly of their drunken, frat-boy excesses. Little did they know. . .

Friday, September 19, 2003

I watched Animatrix the other day. It's a bunch of anime-style animation shorts by the makers of The Matrix. I thought they were much more provocative and philosophically deep then the sequel -- and great for those of us with short attention spans!

I think it could be a blast to do a Matrix-inspired roleplay. There are so many interesting themes to explore. Taking the red pill: a choice between fantasy and reality. To trust another to guide you to a new level of understanding. To revel in the allure of the imagined and be unafraid of the rawness of truth. You've got slick fetish fashion. And an aesthetic where east meets west in the very form of the main character (yes, Keanu is a hapa) and in the mix of martial arts and guns, eastern enlightenment ideas with western heroics. It could have parallels with something more traditional like a vampire role-play but with a more modern, cyberpunk attitude. On a sidenote, I like the look of the new vampire vs. werewolves movie The Underworld for just this reason -- because it updates the genre with a future-forward stylishness.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

I have been so deluged with virus-laden emails you wouldn't believe it! My cheap web hosting and email server have no filter for this so I have to rely on my eagle eye and there's been literally hundreds in my inbox this past week, ugh.

Anyways, I've been getting a lot of positive feedback about my blog. I have always been a writer at heart, working as a journalist for community newspapers through out high school, college and immediately afterwards. My own ambition used to weigh me down with an anxiousness over the whole process, leading to a writer's block which lasted for too long. By finally coming full circle and letting go -- very much in keeping with the buddhist ideal of detachment -- I've finally made peace with myself and actually been able to write again. And in that middle time, I experienced so much, gaining precious wisdom of the world. So now my writing is endowed with greater maturity and presence than I could have mustered before. And it'll only get better!

I've been invited to join Friendster by a few but have yet to sign up. The internet is a funny thing. It can be a wonderful tool in building community through newly established ties and long lost friends. But it also has a darker, more addictive side where it sucks you in and replaces the desire to connect in the real world. Does anyone know of a piece of software that could keep one tightly focused on the task at hand, instead of wandering aimlessly in cyberspace in some kind of mentally masturbatory state? We could call it the CyberMistress and you get a shock every time you go off on a tangent :-)

Monday, September 8, 2003

Here is a list of alternative porn videos that was recommended to me by a fellow prodomme. Though I haven't had an opportunity to check these titles out, I wanted to share this list:

1. Restrained by Desire (Twisted Productions)
2. Submission to Ecstasy (Twisted Productions)
3. Strictly for Pleasure (Twisted Productions)
4. Terms if Enslavement (Ernest Greene)
5. Ivy Manor 3 - Tropical Submission (Gwen Media)
6. Hell on Heals (Wicked Pictures)
7. Rogue Adventures #16 (Joey Silvera)
8. Transexual Gangbangers 7 (Devil's Film)
9. The Other World Kingdom 1
10. Rubber Discipline 3 (Marquis)
11. Transexual Beauty Queens 16 (Androgeny Productions)
12. Extreme Fetish #3 (Hollywood Videos)
13. Extreme Gummi Erotik (Caprice)

Saturday, September 6, 2003

My inbox has been deluged by emails with viruses -- over 150 at last count and all with senders related to BDSM or adult entertainment. If you haven't figured it out already, avoid opening unsolicited messages with titles like Wicked screensaver, Thank you!, You're approved, Details, Your application and That movie to name a few. Thankfully, none of the suspect email was opened. But if you happen to find that I haven't responded to a recent message you've sent me, just know that I've been dumping out my inbox and may have accidentally deleted it!

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

I just got back from my trip to LA. It was wonderful! I must admit, I've had my fair share of issues with the City of Angels. Growing up in the shadow of Hollywood, experiencing the riots after the Rodney King verdict, it was not always easy. In fact, sometimes it felt like being raised in some giant lab experiment! But this trip brought new opportunities, new connections, and a newly discovered appreciation for Southern California. Big thanks to everyone who helped make my stay so exceptional: Mistress Pandora for making me feel so at home at the Wicked Garden, Marnie for the 411 on dungeon rentals, and Mike for inspiring me to take sessions in the first place. I enjoyed every minute of my playtime and look forward to more in another 3 months or so.