Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I have had some inquiries about my birthday, as some of you remember that it's coming up in early November. I do always get a kick out of saying that I was born on the day of the dead!


Recently, I've been mulling over the concept of female supremacy. While I very much enjoy playing with the idea, I have come to the conclusion that I do not ascribe to the ideology per se. Rather, if there is any belief system underlying my style of domination, it would be that power roles cannot be defined by biology and should always remain fluid.

I embrace the femme domme/male sub dynamic for myself because I am dominant towards all my partners both male and female. Over and above my personal predilections, what I value about my work is how it turns convention on its head, thereby opening one up to the realization that alternative paths are possible.

I do not apply judgment to any of these roles. If I believed that only the dominant role were superior, then I would not respect the men and women who so generously submit to me.

Through my wealth of experience, personal insight and skills, I have a lot of confidence in being Mistress Xia. Yet I would hardly think the world would be a better-run place if all the men in charge were replaced by women. Certainly, it would be different. But to me, having one set of genitals versus another does not make one inherently superior.

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Sunday, October 9, 2005

I had a beautiful time the other day acting out a stern teacher/naughty schoolgirl roleplay with a girlfriend. My one age play fetish is topping a "teenage" girl. Isn't that everyone's? ;-)

For me, surrendering to a role can be cathartic in a way similar to meditation -- letting go of the overly identified self. When meditating, it's about going deeper, beyond our individual construct to a timeless and universal being. Emptying the mind for a few moments, ceasing the constant chatter of our thoughts. And perhaps observing in this space the real truth of the matter.

In roleplay, it can also be about stepping outside one's own restless, ego-driven and virtually permanent persona. Releasing into a different dimension of beingness in personality and action, thereby reflecting the commonality between us all and the possibilities for change. Watching oneself as another. Cleansing of the mental build-up which can block clarity and contentment. And if not breaking old patterns, at least bringing awareness to them.

Of course, roleplays can be acted out in a disconnected way. It can tap into a part of one's consciousness not normally accessible. In these cases, once the scene is over, it seems that all the emotions and even some of the memories of the experience are repressed back again. I find this may take place with individuals who have very little to say before or after the scene. When they cannot express excitement, fear or any emotion about what we are about to engage in, it all feels a bit out of touch.

As much as I love roleplay, I know it is not for everyone. I have a dear friend who is too much of a comedian to stay in any role without busting out laughing. "Hey that's OK," I tell him. "That's what hoods and gags are for!"

Tuesday, October 4, 2005


Occasionally, a submissive will mistakenly address me as "ma'am." I immediately let them know my dislike for this title. It strikes me as such a non-sexy word. When I hear it, things like the color beige and dusty antiques come to mind. It makes me think of a hard, matronly woman without a seductive bone in her body.

A word I do like is "sir." The Sci Fi series Battlestar Galactica -- the only thing I watch regularly on TV -- introduced the mercilessly authoritarian Admiral Helena Cain in the final episode of this season. Though her character is obviously too much of a fascist to be endearing, to hear the male Commander Adama address her as "sir" gives me quite a thrill. (I also like how the crisp, unisex uniforms -- form-fitting but not clingy -- allow Cain's power to both transcend and magnify gender.) And I believe the modern Star Trek series have also made the use of "sir" a neutral term. Most excellent!

Yes Mistress Xia Sir! Oh that has a nice ring to it, especially for some intense military-themed, protocol/discipline action...

Saturday, October 1, 2005

Me and a few friends decked out in custom latex. Whoo hoo!