I thought the following might be instructive. . .
The former slave who I talk on the phone with on a rare occasion is not allowed to session with me (the erotic part of the connection feels strange now that I know him as a friend). Other experiments in offsite meetings have all fallen flat and ended. It seems much more difficult for that Mistress-slave connection to remain tenable in the world outside of The Gates. I have tried, believe me. But it has just been a hassle, needless misunderstanding and waste of perfectly fine relationships that are meant to remain within a dungeon setting. "Xia" does not really exist once I step out the door. This is an aspect of my personality I value, even hold sacred, and cherish within the protective chambers of my lair. It is like a plant that requires very specific environmental conditions, so that once it is taken out of the hothouse it quickly shrivels up and dies. . .