Tuesday, March 8, 2005

I am a woman who knows the dirty thoughts that flicker through men's minds. The undercurrent of sexuality is an invisible force I enjoying playing with. Indeed, it has led to many titillating adventures. Deciphering this language of deep desire happens on a primal level -- the insinuation of subtle cues, the movement of one's body, the direction of one's gaze. Not so much on a conscious level, these feelings of hunger and yearning poke and prod just underneath the surface. It can be especially thrilling to sense these urges within an austere setting where such thoughts are supposedly prohibited: the office, school, even church. Oh yes, that is being bad now isn't it? To feel like a sinner, that's hot.

Then again, I find that those who best manage the paradox of desire -- that inexorable pull to do that which is forbidden -- are the ones who face these urges head on with lightheartedness and kindness. It's the ones who run away from their desires who often have the real hang-ups. Yet it's a balance, as some level of restraint and even shame intensifies one's passion. And there it is, for that's so much of what domination is about: the interplay of restraint and desire. Teasing, teasing, teasing... and denial. Not denial of all pleasure, rather a deliciously depraved detour from the established paradigm of male sexual fulfillment. Playing with the complexity and the conflict, which manifests so well in the dichotomy of pleasure and pain.

In my experience of playing with men's desire, I have driven some into a wild, unthinking frenzy. How many times have I heard the line "I can't help myself!"? So naturally, it should come as no surprise that I would not be satisfied with anything less than complete and utter control over my men. Binding you up to restrict your movement, exposing and tormenting your body to train you to my will, rewarding obedience with the softness of my skin -- if only for a few torturously brief moments. This is how I like to play with men. For if you can't control yourself, I certainly will. . . and enjoy every tantalizing moment of it.