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I envision the play scene in terms of an equal energy exchange. In order for it to be a genuinely reciprocal exchange, this requires that my slave give me some of their power, trusting that I will give it back in the form of domination and control leading to their own submission. It is a two-way street. When it is lopsided, then one party may feel weakened as their energy is being leeched away. I believe, like many of my cohorts, that BDSM and fetish play can be a healing experience. This runs contrary to popular opinion, which focuses on the veneer of unhealthiness attached to the very labels we use to describe it: perversions, fetishes, torture, humiliation, degradation. Yet it is the aspect of turning these powerful forces -- which are typically channelled into the negative and destructive -- into the positive and productive. There may still be destruction, but there is also rebirth. The balance is in maintaining it as a cathartic rather than draining experience.
Following upon this idea, I see my dynamic with any particular slave to be just that: a dynamic, evolving experience. We build upon previous scenes, each one being a layer of intricacies, as we get closer to a space of pure bliss where dualities -- such as pleasure and pain, male and female, darkness and light -- blur into meaninglessness. When someone initially approaches me wanting something very special and wicked (e.g. forced bi or public exposure), they need to understand that I do not treat an unknown as I would a loyal slave. It is far better to ingratiate yourself with me first through sincere one-on-one servitude and devotion, then bring up these desires. And know that though it may take only a few moments for you to think it up in your head, it takes time and resources in the real world.
