Thursday, May 26, 2005

If you haven't seen Preaching to the Perverted, this is definitely a movie any self-professed kinkster won't want to miss. It's a hilarious British send-up of the glamourous life of dominatrix and SM club owner Tanya Cheex -- yes with a name like that, you know this flick has a sense of humor! It also manages to be sexy and slick, with the Mistress sporting hot fetish gear in leather, latex and shiny chrome.

Unlike some in the fetish community, this film doesn't take itself too seriously ;-) Yet it presents a fairly accurate if highly dramatized (I mean what are movies for, darling?) picture of the femme domme lifestyle and philosophy. It even educates with a safe, sane and consensual lesson. And it throws in some laugh out loud 'insider' jokes about enemas, butt plugs and the like. It was so refreshing to see the at once bizarre and mundane aspects of being a dominatrix so openly and saucily represented. I wish there were more movies like this were made about my craft!

A lot of Preaching to the Perverted's plot revolves around a moral crusader's attempt to infiltrate an SM club to gather evidence to prosecute the Mistress on obscenity charges. Indeed, I find it strange how the idea of moral superiority has been taken hostage by a select few. In my own practice, when I sense that someone who is presenting himself to me believes that the activities we are engaging in are immoral, then I know that our time together will be brief. For when a man believes he is already sinning, he may feel that he can take certain liberties. As a "sinner", he feels he is off the hook when it comes to acting with common decency and consideration. And so then, his belief in his lack of morality becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sadly, I have had a few unpleasant encounters attempting to play with individuals who have these kind of hang-ups. People so ashamed of their desires that they do not respect themselves or anyone else who interacts with them on this level. Whether they simply project a feeling that I am morally compromised or go further and see me as the devil's consort, I find all of it so tiringly old-fashioned.

Now that doesn't necessarily mean we should drop all pretense of good versus evil during a play scene. If it were all just new-age affirmations that this is natural and healthy, where would be the fun in that? Learning to play with shame, to turn it into a game and not take it all so seriously -- there's the balance. After all, playing the devil's consort sounds like a deliciously devious roleplay to me...