Monday, December 15, 2003

I am collaborating with one of my slaves on a workplace scenario. What's fun about an office roleplay is the sense of restrictiveness that is so much a part of the business world. I know because I use do the 9 to 5 thing myself. There is something about working in an office that can seem positively victorian. In the end, it probably is the best way to get things done -- making sure people's minds are not elsewhere, distracted by thoughts of pleasure! There was a certain giddiness in living a double life. At the office, being Clark Kent: glasses, drab, loose-fitting clothes. And on my own time, turning into Superman: fabulous, funky-sexy get-ups and crazed nights around the town.

I notice that there are some who submit to me have a tendency to think aloud certain thoughts that are better left unsaid. Perhaps some of it is nervousness. Or a sense that because they are revealing a side to themselves that is normally secret, that they can really "let their hair down." Yet I think it's important to measure one's words carefully when in the presence of your Mistress, so as to avoid putting your foot in your mouth.

We all make judgments about people. When looking for the perfect domme, it necessarily involves a process of assessing and evaluating one's options. Yet when it comes to the physical specifications which factored into one's decision, I'd rather not have a detailed play-by-play. e.g. "Well I thought you looked hot in your pictures and I have a thing for Eurasians. I was afraid you might be too skinny for my taste, but I decided to give it a try." Don't you think that most Mistresses would be put off by being categorized and objectified in this way? I mean, this is best left unsaid.

Even more distressing is when someone who submits to me uses the occasion of our chatting afterwards to compare my "performance" to that of another Mistress'. What makes this distasteful is that it frames a dominatrix as some sort of product, and furthermore, fosters competitiveness between ladies. I am grateful for feedback on what in a scene went well and what didn't quite work. But I think that most serious dommes would agree that the core of one's nature is what is presented when one dominates. As such, information similar to market research surveys will not really shape what activities I decide to engage in.

Now I know that there are men out there that do see themselves as consumers and prodommes as a product. They are usually hobbyist of all sorts of erotic services, typically seeing professional domination as a nice break from the vanilla fare. And one has every right to see things this way. Perhaps if I were a man, that's how I'd be. But that's neither here nor there.

There are many interpretations of one reality. And in my universe, I am the consumer and my slaves are the product -- to be consumed by me, used and abused for my pleasure, then sent along on their merry way. One of my prodomme friends likes to imagine that she is the one paying to be allowed to dominate her slave. As she gets ready for the scene, she thinks about how much fun she will have with her paid submissive. Now that's a neat trick! You see, for true dommes it really is about our fantasy fulfillment.

Bless you all for playing it my way. . .