Friday, February 25, 2005

I love all the titles one can pick and choose from as a dominatrix. To name a few: Empress, Lady, Domina, and of course, Mistress. When I began my career as a pro domme almost three years ago, I remained ambivalent as to which form of address to use. [This is one reason why my main URL is xia-bdsm.com, though if you type in mistressxia.com or dominaxia.com it all re-directs to me.]

You see, one of my early mentors in the scene absolutely loathed the term "Mistress." Yet for me, this title has turned out to feel like the best fit. I enjoy its multi-layered connotations: it is the feminine form of both "mister" and "master," and also shares the same name as that of a long-taboo role for women -- the bad woman, the temptress, bringer of pleasure and pain. The word "Mistress" has just the right amount of serpentine hiss in its enunciation to arouse a sense of mysterious power when spoken. And yet as a title it is vague enough not to give anything away or box one in too much.

Ironically, in my life I have found numerous occasions where I have been called a "Princess." The other day my sister was looking online for my site. "What is it," she said, "PrincessXia.com?" I had to laugh! Thank the heavens, life has always been good to me, enough so that I've felt quite pampered and special. But I've never been one to wear t-shirts or jewelry emblazoned with "Princess" or "Spoiled" or other silly things.

Then again, a friend of mine did kid me that Mistress sounds like Ms. Stress. Now that's a good one. But only the Mistress gets to joke about that one! Double standards are in force, slave -- and you'll love every minute of it!!!